khairul syuhaidah zainal

Sunday, August 7

saying yes

hello there,

org just nak awak tahu yang org akan sentiasa ingat benda yg awk pernah buat untuk org and surely appreciate it. thank you so much for abundance of memories that you did with me throughout these 2 years of our relationship.

you're always the best ;)

Saturday, January 3

Last call baby, last call.


Its 6.45am and i was awakened up by sounds of something. And it reminds me about my nightmare tht i just had bfore. The last thing u want to happen to urself are when your exboyriend embrassing urself on social networks posting wht shudnt be posting (cam aku je yg buat on reality? Lol) but lagi teruk on wht i posted on ig .Ok lah tbh tu mmg not exactly what happen but i dreamed bout tht how scary was that shit

Pastu cam bodoh takleh tidur haha

2nd January 2015, the end of relationship between me and danial. Danial faris. Mohamad danial faris bin sanawi. 2years gap between us showed so many reasons why u shudnt and why u shud date an older woman than u. 

Kali ni break without any presence of third person. Kitorang break so many times it's uncountable but tahlah maybe sbb we need each other and my love towards him tak pernah lak nk hilang aku pun tak paham ah dgn myself. 

I want to meet him so bad. Sbb apa yg aku nmpak, bila kitorang tak jumpa, chance untuk break tu sgt la tinggi bcs we r not seeing each other everyday. Yes fuck you distance problem-

He said - 'no more getback after this ok, jgn gedik gedik dgn aku mintak getback balik' -- ouch!

Haha its okay, i know how u feel. Mesti cam dh nyirap ngan aku bcs asyik couple -break-couple-break hm cam break kete lak. 

Fuck im really bad in relationship doh. Cant doing things right , more like relationshit--- but hey, this time i didnt cheat on anyone! (Last time i cheated on my ex bf- sekali tiga sial aku couple bapak sakai)

Thanks for everything (if u know wht i mean) all ur memories, money, efforts, time, energy tht had be given to/on me. Tbh, the best relationship i ever had in my whole life-- serius do ni gentle tak tipu

Wish u to have a good journey in 2015 and u gonna get ur own bike real soon (u promise to let me have a ride on it but we  already over so nevermind im okay with that heh) 

Anddd i freakingly wish u have a better yet fucking bright future ahead bcs i know u r pretty intelligent (as i know lah) and i hope u can be a pilot at the same time jadi ceo kfc or wtv u want. Banggakan mummy daddy (alahai poyo nye shu)

Andddddd im wishing u to have/choose/pick the better girl than me im sure u can do tht. Love her as hard as u can. Dont let she sad by her own. Accepts all her flaws/defects bcs nobody is perfect. Change her into a better person. Dont make mistakes like wht we used to do in previous 2014. 

Remember me in ur doa (carpppppppp) hahahaha

Ok. My azam this year nk single for the whole year (in shaa allah) Tp en, ada jodoh tak kemana :)

Goodbye sayang ucuk acam hap hap hap weh the fuck do shu hahahaha


Monday, November 24



Confuse ah. Kadang kadang kau show some interest kadang kadang kau cam dh tak amik port, tak best ah cmni. 

Rasa mcm kadang kadang ada, kadang kadang takde. Fuck off doh

Sunday, November 23

Wide awake or fully dead. U choose


Aku cam tertunggu tunggu mcm mana ending cerita kitorang. 

Break it off or start over again?

* i still remember ur promises 

Saturday, November 22



And fuck u danial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babi sial gi mati ah anjing. Fuck off 

When i did suicide, i'll never rest in peace

But i will ensure to haunt you and ur girl forever. I dont want anyone to have u. U gonna be old single man until u die. 

Bapak ah aku jadi hantu psycho nak mampus. Nahh, im kidding. 

But yeah, fuck u. And i love u 



I h8 fights. I h8 quarrels. I h8 misunderstanding. I h8 miscommunication. I h8 accuses. I h8 excuses. I h8 u for hating me. I can feel that 😞😔



I h8 fights. I h8 quarrels. I h8 misunderstanding. I h8 miscommunication. I h8 accuses. I h8 excuses. I h8 u for hating me. I can feel that 😞😔

Dear honeybee,


If you want to end the relationship, do it fast. 

If you really hate me, say it straight to my face.

If you still in love with me, prove me with your actions and not only with ur words.

Dont treat me like ur puppet, u play with me when u are in boring mood and left me when u are in other different moods. Imagine urself at my place, what would u feel? 

For the millionth times, i only have u other in my heart and i saved a spot in my heart for u. I love u, so much danial. Kau je tak tahu hm 

Friday, November 21



Last night conversation was tough. 

He seems confused with all of the mess

Me too

Both of us sighing on each other

Both of us said nothing

He asked for my decision. I asked for him

Ended up by saying goodnight and i love u (does the i love u were sincere?)

Thursday, November 20

4months of joy, depression and a good comeback


Its kinda sad when he used to be cool and caring person when our first-second month together. He used to praised me. Tell me tht im cute. Tell me tht he is so lucky to have me. Tell me tht the other girls in the whole world means nothing, and i was his everything. I really miss receiving that kind of praise from him. 

But people change right? I cant force him to love me like i love him. 

Danial affects me. The moment when we broke up, i took two weeks to move on and accepted tht everything has over. One week tht full of tears. Days and nights, only his face stuck in my mind. At that moment, i refuse to give a fuck to society, family, friends. I want to die so bad bcs it really hurts and i didnt want to feel the pain ( i aint joking rn).
But fa10 shows and give me some advices and smack me with reality facts. I love you babe. 

Theres a lot of guys and crooks try to steal my heart but my heart has already got stolen by you. I really wish you didnt break it into pieces bcs i trust you wholeheartedly, i have faith on you and i want only you and yourself. 

P/s: ^this text was 6months ago, my love for you still exist and i love you too ❤️